Fabled wicked step mothers seek to control blended family

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After their parents divorce and dad enters into anew marriage with a stranger, many kids quickly associate their new step mother with the fairy tale version. How easy is it for a stepmother to stumble into the role of wicked step mother?

Rough beginnings for step mothers

Going through a divorce with their parents can leave many children feeling like victims in an adult world which ignores their wants and needs, and sometimes treats them like contested property

Are you a wicked step mother?

• You demand that your husband choose you over his kids. They have to learn they no longer are his first priority and are not running the show anymore.
• You take no interest in the lives or interests of your step kids. They are not your problem, and have nothing to do with you. Birthdays? You are not their mother.
• When the step kids come to your house, you let them know they are only there as visitors, unlike your own children who live with you full time.
• You are too busy to attend games, plays, or award ceremonies your step kids are involved in. Their own mother should take care of that.
• You do not bother to provide a permanent place in your home for your step kids to sleep. They are only visiting, and they know how to make up the couch by themselves.
• You ask your step kids prying questions about their mother so you can point out how much better you are in comparison. You say negative things about their mother.
• You use phrases like, “When you are in my house…”
• You expect your step kids to be grateful for all that you do for them. 

As a step parent, you are in a position to make the blended family experiencehappy and loving, one that adds value to their lives. Often, later in life, step kids finally look back at their step parents with love and gratitude. For many step mothers, the wait is worth it. For more information, visit The Blended and Step Family Resource Center.