Ways to meet expectations in a blended family

Blending a family together is hard work. There are expectations that everyone has when it comes to bringing two families together. You may have certain expectations for your new step kids or step parents and all of those feelings are normal. There are some things that take place inside a blended family that can only be described through experience and that is where learning to manage and meet the expectations of those in your newly created family is important.

Celebrating various holidays
Celebrating any kind of holiday in a remarriage can be difficult. The beauty behind celebrating a birthday or any other holiday is that it should be fun for everyone. It’s up to the biological parent to help make this possible in a remarriage. Your kids may not feel comfortable buying a birthday card for their new step mom or step dad. It’s your job to sit down and explain that it’s okay to feel a little awkward. You need to understand that it’s okay to guide them in the right direction. It may take some time to get used to celebrating holidays in your blended family, but it is something that can be done.

Your child is refusing to acknowledge the step parent
It is not uncommon for a child to not acknowledge a step parent. You may not understand why your child is acting this way, but there are some things you can do to help the situation. Sit down and talk to your children about honoring the new parent, especially on certain holidays. Respect should always be given and it’s never okay to be rude. It may take some time, but over time your child will build a special relationship with the new parenting situation.

Grandparents in the equation
It’s common for people to get remarried and leave out the grandparent aspect. This is a special part of a blended family because every situation is so different. In a perfect world, all grandparents would be equally accepting of all children. Nevertheless, there will always be situations that need work, especially in the grandparent department. In some situations, the grandparents just naturally blend into the occasion and on the other hand, some grandparents will need a little direction.

Making decisions as a couple
The bottom line of a blended family is that you and your spouse are making decisions as a couple. Listen to what each other has to say and make decisions from there. Whenever an unexpected expectation comes up, you can learn to simply deal with it. Use these tools to help you along the way. No blended family is perfect, but at least you have tools to help you get through the most difficult situations, like meeting expectations in a blended family.  For more information, contact The Blended and Step Family Resource Center.