Sunday, May 22, 2011

Kids and Divorce, Helping Them Get Through Changes

Divorce is never pretty no matter who you are, whether you’re a regular Jane and Joe or Arnold and Maria. 

Divorce is never easy for everyone involved in it.

In helping children get through the divorce you must make sure that it is really over to avoid confusion. If it is really over give them a clear view of what divorce would be like. Stop confusing them by keeping wedding photos in the living room, remove all of the ex-spouse’s things (only the non-custodial), remove photos of you and your spouse being together (don’t destroy them, just keep them out of sight). Make a clear message that there is a separation between you and your ex-spouse.

Furthermore, talk with your children gently but still with a clear message that Mom and Dad will no longer be married and will no longer live together but loving the children will never change. Divorce details should not be part of the conversation since they’re still children. Explain that although there will be changes between you and your ex-spouse, there will be no changes in the relationship between the children and the parents.

Try to bring in a counsellor for your kids to talk about your divorce openly and encourage them to talk with their friends who have divorced parents. 

Don’t forget to consult a counsellor yourself to assess through the divorce and help you forgive yourself. A support from the outside of your family will be of great help in getting you and your children through this painful transition.

Overall, be patient, kind, but still be a parent to your children; house rules should not change. Understand and spend time with your kids as much as you can. Let them feel and know that even though you and your ex-spouse are divorced you are still available as a parent to your children.

If you need help more than this article click this.