Friday, April 6, 2012

Learn how to work together as a step family

Every new step family has a lot to work through and that’s no secret. The important part is that every one works together. Learning how to work together as a step family can be a huge challenge. The hard part for the kids is that they did not choose to be in this new blended family role, so they truly have no choice but to try and make it work. On the other hand, you as a step mom, step dad or as a biological parent have chosen this path for your child or children. It’s up to you and your new spouse to make this work and make sure everyone works together as a family.

Realize the work of blending a family together
Before you start telling your kids how easy this process is going to be; make sure you are honest about the entire process. In reality, you know how difficult this really could become. There are some instances where families just naturally blend together; however, there are other families that do not. Your job is not to worry about those other families, but instead focus on the task at hand with your family. Becoming a blended family means that you could possibly have step children or that your kids will have a step parent.

Make a plan to make this blended family process easier
Putting together a blended family is always different for each person. Everything should be as smooth as possible as you all work on this adventure together.  Never speak negatively about your ex in front of the children. Although you can’t control what happens at your ex- spouse’s house, you can control what you say about your ex to the children. 

Create a set of guidelines for your new family. These are guidelines that you and your spouse create together. You can disagree, as you develop these guidelines, but make sure the kids don’t see you disagree. Once your guidelines are created, with fair and equal treatment for all, then present them to your kids, as a united front- the two of you helping your children understand this new world of step family.

Put your marriage firstNo matter what kind of marriage you have it is important to put it first. Moms and dads need to feel as though they have a solid marriage before they can tackle large issues. When you stand as a united front, your household runs a lot smoother. During this process, you need to focus on your marriage, so that you may be the best parents possible. Learn how to work as a couple and then you can learn how to work as a blended family.   Spend dedicated time with your spouse each day, and some extended time together, at least once a week. The stronger you keep your marriage, the stronger your blended or step family will be.

If you need professional help with your blended family, The Blended and Step Family Resource Center is founded with the aim to help blended and stepfamilies become strong and successful. Avail of resources that can help you manage your blended family better including licensed professional counselors who offer coaching and counseling services.

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