Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Blended family with two sets of children, no problem!

Being a step dad or a step mom is not an easy thing to do.  Movies and television shows would have us believing that success is inevitable when two adults with children meet, fall in love, and decide to blend their two families. And it all happens within a one- or two-hour time frame! In blended family life, real life, making it happen does not always come so quickly or easily.

The joys of blended family living
A blended family with two sets of step kids has great potential for being that great big happy family you and your spouse envision, and the rewards of being a step mom and a step dad are boundless. Finding an entirely new set of people to love and to love you is always worthwhile, and the simple act of expanding compassion, affection, and interest in others can have far reaching effects.

Step sibling challenges
Most step siblings do have one important thing in common: none of them asked to be there! Blended family step siblings , whether they like it or not, have to share a home and learn to get along, despite seeing each other only on weekends or holidays when one set of kids lives with another parent.

Territorial issues
Territory is often an issue in a step family. Kids who have had their own rooms in a previous house may find sharing accommodations, even for short visits by step siblings, difficult to manage. In some blended family homes, accommodation can be very crowded, but do try to make sure everyone has at least some private or personal own area in their shared room.

When you set your ground rules for living a blended family, make treating each other in a respectful and caring manner an absolute and non-negotiable decree. As step parents in a step family, even-handed and fair treatment is vitally important, because step siblings notice id someone get preferential treatment or is not challenged when they refuse to follow household rules.

Step parents in a blended family often feel they ought to love their step kids in the same way they love their own. It is usually easier and a lot more genuine, to love someone for whom they really are and not just because you think you should.  Remember, you choose your new spouse, and if those step kids seem very un-loveable at times, then love them through your spouse. For more information on how to manage a blended family, visit The Blended and Step Family Resource Center.

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