Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Blended family couples struggle against the odds

image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Blended family success rates are struggling to keep up with the failure rates. Second marriages end in divorce at an higher rate than first marriages do. How can we avoid repeating the same disillusionment and pain? These tips may help you and your blended family partner keep from falling into those couple traps that lead to poor relationship dynamics.

Give your relationship the respect it deserves. If you think that shifting your main focus away from your spouse and onto the children will help the situation, you do everyone a disservice. Your strong relationship is the glue that keeps your blended family together. Work together in a conscious effort to build a relationship of mutual respect and understanding.

Be safe. No matter what one person says in anger, you both agree that your marriage and your relationship will stay secure. If one of you is hesitant to speak their mind for fear of reaction or threats of divorce, your safety zone has been breached.

Fight fair. The first rule of fair fighting is, of course, no physical violence-ever. The second rule is, fight only about the subject at hand, without dragging out other complaints, too. Keeping things as cool as possible is always a good goal, and throwing new and old issues around like darts is never cool.

Forget about the small stuff. Learn how to distinguish between big problems and little ones. In the category of big problems you will tend to see things like health, financial security, welfare of the children, fidelity, and such.

Life has stress and strains, and so what? If you wish to know more about keeping it together as a blended family couple, contact The Blended and Step Family Resource Center.

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