Why guidelines are important when an adult stepson moves in

A stepson who decides to move in with you and his biological father could present challenges to you and your stepfamily. To achieve and maintain harmony in your blended family, it is crucial to set boundaries and guidelines, so as not to leave room for misunderstanding and confusion. Discussing and having guidelines in place beforehand is key to a successful stepfamily living.

You and your partner need to agree upon and formulate the guidelines which you will have implemented in your home. These guidelines should be made with a disciplinary approach that eliminates misunderstanding and confusion about your expectations. You can start with the “who, what, when, where, and how” basics for your plan. Agree with your partner about the rules and expectations.

A good set of guidelines should include basic responsibilities in the home such as helping with meals and cleanup, laundry, and similar chores. Other rules may include curfew, use of the family car, smoking, drinking, and friends coming over. As an adult, your stepson should have the initiative to conduct himself accordingly in a decent and acceptable manner.

In addition to the guidelines, a plan should be setup for your stepson’s career goals and employment. No matter how hard things are with the economy, a consistent effort should be made to make this plan work which is aimed at his independence and, eventually, his own family life.

The Blended and Step Family Resource Center aims to help step families conquer the challenges of life in a blended family setting. A successful blended family life does not happen overnight nor is it easy. By adhering to proven principles that work, it becomes attainable when applied with consistency and discipline.